I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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