how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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