Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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