i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
