Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
