I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
