Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
