Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
