Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
