i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
