new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
