you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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