Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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