if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
