I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
