Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
