Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We had to coat check the pizza.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
