coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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