Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize