sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
