hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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