dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I understand Curling. That high.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We are two peas in an std pod
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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