is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
