so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
