I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
