now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
