Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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