after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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