I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
