How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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