He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
