so explain again why im purple
no
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
