I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
NoShamevember. You game?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
