Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
