it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
