Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
