last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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