the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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