Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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