Redeem this text for a blowjob
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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