So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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