great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
