"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
