Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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