The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
