I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
