turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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