well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
