just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
