six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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