wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
