just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
