we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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