You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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