ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
