I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
