Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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