Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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