Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The adults are the big ones right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
