i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this boner is exhausting
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
