I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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