I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Welp...herpes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
