I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How external is "for external use only"?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
