He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize